Ninja vs Vampire
by chubbypenguin
Summary: Now that the war was over and everyone starts their new lives, what better way to pass the time then to annoy her favorite vampire, Vinnie!  YuffiexVincent, Vincent/Yuffie, Yuffentine


Skipping out of my bedroom I garb the door frame making a sharp right turn. I collide with something hard that bringing me down. I look up to see my wall is just Vinnie-poo showing off his super-ubber strength by attacking the poor distracted ninja in a way that no one in the world could have possibly prevented. I tell him this and he apologizes.

He probably realized that I wasn't going to get up so he offers me his hand.

Now, I could have done the lady like thing and accept the kind gesture but Yuffie Kisaragi never did anything the easy way!

"Uterus punch" I yelled, as I punched him in the gut, watching him stubble backwards slightly, I smiled excitingly up at him in anticipation of what the all mighty Vincent Valentine would do next!

There was slight amusement in his eyes when he replied"...are you implying that I am not of the male gender?"

my smile brightened glad he was playing along "I'm not so much implying, as I am clearly stating you have lady parts"

There was a slight twitch of his lips, "assure you, I am male." he reaches out for my hand once again like the kind gentleman he is

"How can I believe you? You also told me you weren't a vampire and now look at you!" I say pointing at his attire

He frowned at this "I told you I am not a vampire and I'm most certainly not a lady." he said less amused," or do you need proof?"

He meant to sound scary but I smirked, you never challenge Yuffie Kisagragi! I grabbed his offered hand and quickly swung by the corner jumping down the stairs.

"Vinnie tired to show me his junk!" I holler landing at the bottom of the stairs, all eyes in the bar were on me.

I spotted the turkeys by the entrance, keeping to themselves. In their usual corner table was Cid with Shera by his side, along with Barret, Reeve and surprisingly Cloud all playing cards. I didn't see Red come in but Cait Sith was currently trying to piss him off by attacking his tail.

We all met up every couple of months to celebrate one thing or another, mostly Tifa was lonely and wanted us all together.

"You know, his genitalia?" I continued wondering why no one was answering me. "His package, his Willy? Magic wand? Joystick? Jack-in-the-box? **MY LITTLE PONEY?**

I heard the steps of Vinnie slowly walked down the stairs, probably getting tired of me talking about his... dame I can't think of any more good ones.

"So is it true?" Reno asked "did you try to show the little princess your tally-whacker?"

Tally-whacker, that's a great one, I giggled, and turkey sent a wink my way.

Vincent didn't say a word but gave turkey one of his death glares; I was just glad and pleasantly surprised that it wasn't directed at me this time.

Reno shut his mouth but smiled, happy that he had said something that finally bothered the stoic vampire.

"can't you guys not understand?" I started again, testing this game a little further since Vinnie anger wasn't directed at me yet, "Vincent was trying to get fresh with me!" all eyes directed at me again, "you know, getin jigggy?"

What are you talking about, why are you talking like that?" it was Tifa speaking this time

Ah, poor innocent Tifa falling into my trap, she unknowing, was cheering me on.

"I believe that she is speaking in old 90's logo to implying that you guys are old for not understanding." Reno answered for me before I could reply.

My attention directed at Reno once again, smiling, he could be my partner in crime! …but then again he has rude..."Turkey darling, I didn't you knew me so well!" I said dramatically "but I was also addressing you Home Skillet! I said changing the tone at the end.

I turned my attention back to Tifa at the bar, "I got the killer pasties, Tifa, get me something blue... on the rocks" I added, I had no clue what I was saying, (I wasn't 21 yet and wasn't allowed a drop of alcohol for 3 more months, Tifa didn't let me work behind the bar, she was too smart to trust me with all that alcohol.

I was staying at the Seventh Heaven in a room upstairs, in exchange I did whatever Tifa needed, I worked in the kitchen doing dishes, served drinks on busy days, or just running whatever crazy errands Tifa needed done.

Tifa just smiled and handed me my usual blue lemonade

I greedily took a few gulps before slamming it down, who knew, talking (or in my case screaming) could actually take so much out of someone.

"Thanks homeslice" I said to Tifa, taking another skip of my half finished lemonade.

"So," Reno said sliding to the stool next to mine, "what's your dillio little ninja? What's got you all going postal" I beamed at turkey, I knew that he should be my partner in crime; he knew how to keep my fun going.

"Hey G, I'm not murkin, I am being hella serious here, just a fair warning I'm one touch nugget and I can mess you up."

Everyone in the bar groaned, only making by smile grow

…..

*** Ninja: 1 Vampire: 0

Ok everyone, this is my first fanfiction, I've been reading for a while now and I figured why not? Yuffentine is my favorite pair 3 I really have no clue why, don't ask.

I actually only played ffvii and watched the movie so I am not completely up to date with the story. I got the basic story down but I don't know what to do with shelke so we'll see….

Anyways please review, and be truthful. I'm a big girl; I can take a hit or two. If this is complete crap then tell me so I will stop writing.


End file.
